god is dead

March 22, 2008 at 6:26 am (divination)

tonight i am thinking about this convergence of good friday, the full moon, the spring equinox…god is dead…

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being a telephone psychic

February 20, 2007 at 1:13 pm (divination)

i have been a part time ‘telephone psychic’ for two weeks now.  but it places you in an odd place in the social world.  when people ask me what i do, i am never quiet sure how to answer.  sometimes i answer: i am pregnant. implying that i believe that pregnancy is work and that it is the only work that i do.  i do believe that pregnancy is incredibly hard and important work and should be acknowledged as such.  but it is not the only work that i do.  sometimes i answer directly:  i am a telephone psychic.  people’s responses normally fall into two categories:  they either believe that i am a scam artist or they think that i am a psychic.  neither of these are true either.

i am not a scam artist.  granted i can imagine ways that i would rather earn money, but i am completely honest and upfront with my clients on the phone.  i pull cards from a pile and read/interpret them.  i use the same part of my brain that i use for analyzing literature  or a painting or a set of patterns.  i believe in synchronicity.  i believe that the 90 percent of my brain that is ‘not being used’ is actually recording an incredible amount of data that i can have access to if i ask for it.  and i am aim for accuracy, specificity, and honesty in my readings.  i dont know if i have ‘special’ gifts but i do know that i trained myself, studied the tarot and playing cards as well as other divination systems, read theories and stories about divination, and have done more readings than i can count.  and my clients are usually happy with my services, contact me repeatedly for further readings, and have learned to trust me over time.

but i am not a psychic.  i am an interpreter of the patterns of the universe.

why do i call myself a telephone psychic?  because that is the common parlance that includes my line of work.

what do i do?  i call up a 1 800 number.  type in my personal id number and my password. and log on to the system.  i then sit in my office, playing on my computer, reading a book, bouncing on my birthing ball until the phone rings.  i like to wait three rings so that i end what i am currently doing and prepare to give a reading.  usually it is a woman on the phone and she wants to know about her career or love.  i start to pull out cards as she gives me as little or as much information as she likes.  i ask her once:  what is her question?

sometimes she will tell me that she wants to know how the relationship with she and her boyfriend are going.  and from there i have to give her a pretty accurate indication of the past present and future of the relationship. i dont have a script that i go by.

tonight i told one woman that she had been unfaithful or was currently being unfaithful to her boyfriend.  that this had caused her boyfriend alot of distress.  that he really wanted to continue the relationship with her but had been badly hurt by her betrayal.  that one of them was much younger than the other.  that she wasnt still seeing or even talking to the person with whom she had cheated.  after i was able to describe this much of her life without any prompt from her she started to open up and tell me more details of the story of her relationship.

on other calls, the person will begin to tell me the whole story right away.   sometimes i wish that they would not tell me so many details because so much information so quickly can cause chaotic whirlwind in my brain.  but i am often grateful that they do.  i dont have to waste their and my time divining details of their life that they already know, but aren’t telling me to test if i am a real psychic.  we can spend our time dealing with their real specific questions instead.  they are paying for everyminute they are on the phone.

when does the phone ring?  right now i am waiting for the phone ring.  in the meantime i am writing this blog entry. on average i dont expect the phone to ring more than once an hour.  the company that i am subcontracted to does not currently offer : 5 free minutes! so there are not alot of people who call and then hang up really quickly so they dont have to pay anything.  instead the people who call must buy their minutes before they can talk to a psychic. sometimes they only buy ten and sometime they buy 120.  if they want the reading to continue and they have run out of minutes they must get off the phone with me and buy more minutes and then call me back.  i normally work the late night shift 2 am – 6 am.

who calls?  before i started this job that was my biggest question.   more women than men.  normally middle class.  new agey.  20’s-60’s age range.

why do they call?  because they have questions and they want answers.  how much would you be willing to pay to get answers to some of those burning questions in your life?  well, the people who call and ask questions have deduced how much they are willing to pay and they have bought that many minutes.  normally they want absolute answers but i can only give probable ones.  if they like the answer then they will tell themselves that it was an absolute answer and if they dont like the answer they will quickly remind me that the future is open and full of possibilities.

so i had to stop writing because i got a couple of calls in a row.  wanting to know about love and career.  both women.

the last caller i am worried about:  she is divorcing her husband, but he wants to keep the relationship going.  and he figures that if he can get her pregnant that she will stay with him.  he is also physically abusive and has ‘behavioural’ problems and lives in the same complex as she and her children do.  and yet she cant motivate herself to leave him.  even though her kids preteen are telling her to do so.  obviously she needs to move.  and when she moves she will find that her health and her economic situation will get alot better.  her health problems right now are psychosomatic reaction to the stress of her living near her exhusband.  her career is going great and soon she will be working on a collaborative project.  and her children are awesome.  and strong.  and she will be a really strong single mom.

i felt for her.  she was one of my favorites.  i liked the young smooth insecure cadence of her voice.   i have a soft spot in my heart for black single moms because i was brought up by one.

so what do i do?  what am i doing? well for 30-40 cents per minute on the phone i answer questions deep and petty about strangers lives.  i am a compassionate listener (unless i am in a bad mood) i am a down to earth soon to be mama (even if i think that pregnancy is an evil plot by patriarchy) and i am the high priestess of the tarot deck.  often more intune to the inner worlds than the outer worlds.  although i easily forget myself and just start saying bullshit and time and time again i must pull myself back to myself and away from the temptations to just enjoy hearing myself be the ‘expert’ on someone else’s life for a few minutes.

i dont know what i do.  but if you give me a call.  maybe you can tell me.

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